Call to Action: Meet up with a friend or family member to whom you are close. Create intentional space for both of you to think about an area in your life where you feel stuck. Then, allow each person to share for two minutes of uninterrupted time, and I would encourage you to use a timer so you don't have to think about timing. Share what is happening, how it feels, who is involved After your time is up, you get to decide if you want feedback sometimes all we need is someone to hear us and then switch roles.
11 Quotes to Remember When You’re Stuck In The Past
Notice how it makes you feel to share your stuckness and not hold it deep inside. Most parents, teachers, religions, friends, belief systems, and cultures will tell you not to listen to your truth, which keeps you feeling stuck and out of alignment with your highest self.
Practice listening to your body, paying attention to your thoughts, engaging in wanderlust, looking for signs from the universe, and advertising your stuckness, and the rest will follow. If you're not sure whether you're growing or if you're still stuck, read this. Plus, here's how chasing happiness made this author realize it was making her unhappy and anxious.
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Group 8 Created with Sketch. By Allie Stark. November 15, Share on: Group 7 Created with Sketch. Group 9 Created with Sketch. Group 10 Created with Sketch. Group 11 Created with Sketch. Group 7 Created with Sketch. Email Created with Sketch. Group 4 Created with Sketch. Here are my five tips on what to do if you are currently feeling stuck in life:. Listen to your body. Pay attention to your thoughts.
Article continues below. Engage in wanderlust. Look for signs from the universe. Find five minutes to help your colleague with her project when she looks like she's stressed out, and make sure you leave her laughing. Secretly put a bunch of flowers in the middle of the table in the meeting room. Have an impromptu dance party in the kitchen. Feel like you're trapped behind your computer all the time, and missing human connection? Turn conversations into a game: how many new people can you meet at work today?
Do you know the caretaker by name? What does that woman on the other side of the office actually do? Just because you're not able to leave your job now doesn't mean you can't start working on your shift right away. Whether it's something like our Career Change Launch Pad , starting your business, or simply learning a new skill, nothing feels quite as good as making progress on your shift. Because half the despair of feeling stuck in a job you don't enjoy comes from feeling like there's no way out.
You wouldn't know where to go, even if you did quit today. Or you have an idea of what you'd like to do, but you don't have the experience you need to be taken seriously. By building up experience, clarity, and an escape plan, you're de-risking your situation. You're not going to make the mistake of a reactive shift. You're not going to find yourself stuck in the same place a year from now. Even if it's just an hour a week, choose something to go to work on and turn it into your secret project. It wasn't my dream job, but I knew it was a useful skill, and something that could potentially give me a lot of freedom to travel and work on my own terms while I figured out my 'real' next steps.
I signed up to two courses: one online and one in-person at a local adult learning centre.
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In quiet moments at work or in boring meetings, instead of thinking about how terrible my job was, I was planning my next website or solving a programming problem in my head. It sounds like New Age, unrealistic hype, but it's worth paying attention to if you can't seem to escape the feeling that everything is doomed and there's no way out.
Here's the thing: the more convinced you are of the idea that your situation is awful, the more you'll find evidence to back it up. He's making another cup of coffee. Clearly everyone here is as disillusioned as me, and he can't be pulling his weight because he's always by the kettle. They're making me do all the name tags for the event.
Menial work. They have no appreciation for my skills. And this is what the inside of your head starts to sound like, all the time: self-righteous and hard done by, not because that's the kind of person you are, but because of where your gaze is fixed. It's even worse if you allow that stuff to come out of your mouth. Maybe that colleague of yours is avoiding work by making 14 cups of coffee a day. They're procrastinating and hiding out, AND they could be exactly the person you can share how you're feeling with, becasue you know they'll understand.
Maybe you do have to print and cut up three hundred name tags this afternoon, AND you get to do it with a colleague you don't know that well. It's a boring task that doesn't use your best skills, AND it's a great chance to get to know someone new and give your giant brain a break. However eye-rollingly Pollyanna it might sound, nothing is doomed and fundamentally awful.
There's something to be celebrated in everything, if you look hard enough.
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Be grateful! Do you work for a highly reputable firm that will look good on a CV regardless of your personal experiences there? Do you love your co-workers, but hate your boss? Be grateful — after all, you could be in a situation where you hate all of them! And I personally know of no better way to do that than to focus on the positive and on what you can control.
One of the uncomfortable truths that nobody likes to hear is also one of the most empowering things you can consider: nobody owes you anything. Nobody's here to argue that it's not wonderful when your boss has your back and your team is working like a well-oiled machine, and there is always, always paper in the printer. But it's not your boss's job to have your life work. And if the IT guy is always late, there's probably a reason why. Waiting for someone else to fix things while simultaneously being miserable because your life isn't how you want it to be is not a useful course of action.
What could you take on to have things be better at work? How could you lead the charge towards a more fun working environment, or a more efficient email system, or a flexible working policy? If you're feeling unfulfilled and unhappy in your career, mustering the motivation to take the lead on something probably isn't going to feel like the obvious and enjoyable thing to do. Think about the one thing that could make the biggest positive impact in your workday, and let your boss know you'd like to work on improving it.
It could be as simple as finding a way to share all the positive feedback you get from clients with the whole team, as soon as it comes in. It might mean finally gathering the courage to negotiate a day of working from home, on an experimental basis. Or it could be something bigger and more complex — something you'd need to re-structure your day to implement. So, I started networking with local third sector organisations and community groups and finding ways that we could collaborate with them to provide services that helped a different client group.
1. Listen to your body.
This was a total game changer when it came to looking for my next job, as it gave me clarity on what I really wanted and experiences that I could talk passionately about with potential employers. Working in a job that doesn't excite you is draining. It takes energy to get yourself to work in the morning, to motivate yourself throughout the day, to work those extra hours on the task you've been dreading for weeks. And when you're coming home exhausted and empty at the end of the day, the thought of doing anything else can feel impossible. But with all that energy going out every day, it's vital to find ways to get some energy coming back in.
It might be exercise, or art, or spending time with friends. It might be getting out into nature on a regular basis. There's something out there that leaves you feeling energised and refreshed, every time. And even if the thought of making and taking time for it feels impossible and tiring, that 'something' can be your lifeline. Exhaustion and frustration are signs that you're undernourished, physically and emotionally. Nostalgia—that sentimental emotion that often sends us down YouTube rehashing our youth—is, psychologically speaking, a useful emotion that helps us deal with loneliness and loss.
But if you're not careful, you can get stuck reminiscing instead of moving forward. Before we dig in too deeply, let's define what nostalgia actually means. When the term was initially coined by Swiss physicians in the late s, it was called a disease similar to homesickness. Of course, nostalgia isn't a disease, and since then we've come to terms with our penchant to rehash the good old days now and again. Writing for Scientific American, social psychologist Dr. Clay Routledge defines nostalgia like so:.
Look in the dictionary and you will find a rather general definition of nostalgia as "a sentimental longing or yearning for the past" But what does it mean to be nostalgic? My colleagues and I explored this question by asking participants to write at length about an experience of nostalgia. Trained coders then analyzed these nostalgic narratives. Results from these coded narratives indicated that nostalgic memories tend to be focused on momentous or personally meaningful life events that prominently features close others e.
Family vacations, road trips with friends, weddings, graduations, birthday parties, and holiday gatherings with loved ones are examples of the kinds of cherished experiences that people revisit when engaging in nostalgia Nostalgic memories are happy memories. Basically, nostalgia is an emotion we all experience, probably countless times a week.
It might come from hearing a song from your youth, a particular smell in the grocery store, or by running into an old friend. Recent studies have shown nostalgia to be beneficial in a lot ways. It can increase self-esteem, help you find meaning in life, and even combat loneliness. Studies published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin suggests that nostalgia can make you more optimistic about the future. Another study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that nostalgia is often used to cope with negative mental states, which researchers sum up like so :.
Nostalgia, then, seems to be one way that people cope with various negative mental states, or "psychological threats. All that said, it depends on what types of memories you're conjuring up and when.
Nostalgia's great for certain moments—especially when you're bringing up positive memories. If you're reminiscing about the past with friends over a beer, that's great, but it's still possible to get locked into those moments for too long.